The Power of Response

I was in the Young Adult Graphic Novels section of Barnes & Noble picking up some books for Christmas for my young boys when I received an extremely passive aggressive message. 

 

The overall tone was very demeaning and disrespectful and my human felt attacked and disrespected. But as I stood in the middle of the aisle, I took a moment to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and envision roots making their way down to allow me to become rooted and grounded in the moment. 

 

I'm not a confrontational person. I become very uncomfortable when I feel attacked and in my teen years and early twenties, I would have attacked back in a cold, aloof way with the intention of hurting the other person.

 

But I've grown up since then.

I've learned that when people come at me it has very little to do with me, and everything to do with a them.

 

When I responded, I envisioned my hurt human self and kindly moved her to the side. I didn't act from a state of heightened emotions, even thought it would have been really easy to. I responded and stopped a situation that could have escalated very quickly. 

 

When two people have an interaction when both are coming from a place of heightened emotions, no good comes from it. 

 

It takes a lot of control and emotional intelligence to be able to use discernment when placed in an uncomfortable position. 

 

Whatever triggered this other person to become defensive, is not on me.

It's their hurt and their pain that made them think that reacting in a passive aggressive and demeaning manner would be an acceptable way of working through a trigger.

 

Listen babe, uncomfortable situations are going to happen.

Shit is going to hit the fan.

People are going to make you feel less than.

You are going to get your feelings hurt.

You are going to have to speak up.

You are going to be put in situations and circumstances that ultimately are going to make you feel uncomfortable and you are going to want to put yourself under a blanket and in the fetal position.

These are the times where calibration and integration take place.

It is during the moments where your love and patience and dedication is being tested.

When you feel the most discomfort is when the expansion is taking place.

 

We are only responsible for ourselves and how we choose to react to things. 

Even as healers, we are not responsible for others healing.

 

Remember you are totally capable of handling tough shit. 

 

 

 

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